My writing buddy Nightmare and I were doing some joint critiquing for WriteOnCon together (because we’re nerdy gals and just love doing that sort of thing) when a scene we were reading struck me. At first I couldn’t figure out why some of the writing didn’t work. As Nightmare pointed out, it wasn’t bad writing, but there was something about it that didn’t scream good writing either. This isn’t to single out the person we were reading because I’ve come across this style often in writing, especially in fanfiction (where I first started writing) but also in various bad books I’ve endured. In talking to Nightmare (as always happens because we tend to read each other’s minds), I figured out why some of these things bothered me. Here are some lessons I’ve figured out how to explain from our joint analysis so far:

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